Why is it that I cannot, even now after all this time, forgive John Tredgett, John Crosby and Malcolm Noble?
Every communion service that goes by it is a pain to me that this sore place still exists. I am anxious to avoid offending the Holy Spirit by any illegitimate unwillingness to forgive.
I do not believe however in the therapeutic and unilateral idea of Christian forgiveness. Nor does God. Forgiveness requires two parties and it requires that one of the two parties has committed real sin and wants to repent of it and be forgiven for it. It does require confession of the reality of the sin.
I have in good faith tried all the means that I can think of to endeavour to find a way forward towards forgiveness and reconciliation. I have endeavoured to closely follow Jesus' instructions in Matthew 18:15-20 and Matthew 5:21-26. These 3 men certainly have not followed the instructions of these passages despite my calls on them to do so and genuine opportunities to do so.
My main gripe is that when these men knew that their position with regards to the conversation overheard by my wife was going to cause massive problems for me they took no effort to clear up the problem. They are still making no effort whatsoever to clear up the difficulties that I have gone to such lengths to try to explain. The right and Christian approach to a disagreement with regards to the facts of a situation is to try to clarify the two sides and try to sort out the difficulties that exist between the two different narratives.
A Christian does not seek ambiguity and vagueness in this type of situation. All the relevant facts need to be brought out to try to shed light on the causes of the narrative fracture.
There was no serious attempt made to help me and my family to get a good understanding of what the situation was.
There was a mysterious amnesia that affected all the participants in that overheard conversation. There were (at the very least) some deeply mysterious things said about it.
There are now some clearly acknowledged facts that have an important bearing on the situation.
1. It is clear that there was a wider attempt to discredit my position by using a "concern" about my mental health. This issue was never discussed openly with me as a serious problem with regards to my preaching and teaching though it did become a serious matter in the church meeting(s) where my resignation was accepted.
2. The overheard conversation was real and not imaginary. Mr and Mrs Noble acknowledge that it did exist and John Tredgett acknowledges that it may have existed though he claims he has no recollection of it whatsoever. No one is now maintaining that Linda made up the situation to which she bore witness.
3. It is clear that John Tredgett does know that he invited Mr and Mrs Noble to the church meeting that evening - the same evening on which the overheard conversation took place.
4. It is clear that Malcolm Noble's claim to know nothing whatsoever about what was going on amongst the church members up until the first members meeting is not true. The Nobles needed to know that they would have a welcome at the members meeting and not a public rebuke.
5. It is clear that Malcolm Noble had a role in remarkable transformation of the views of the two elders and the church members with regards to my preaching and teaching.
6. There is a real issue with regards to John Tredgett's statement which he made after claiming to have spoken to Audrey Noble - "I've just checked with Audrey to see if she recalled the conversation. Either we are both going mad or the conversation didn't take place."
7. You do not rebuke a woman for overhearing a conversation that you claim did not happen.
The only way back that the two remaining elders are willing to contemplate requires that I withdraw all my allegations about untruthfulness before any further discussion can take place. In other words I must agree to their narrative prior to any attempt to try to work out what really did happen.
Christians have a duty to cling to the truth above everything else. I do not believe it is appropriate to sweep these things under the carpet and pretend they did not happen. They are serious problems and they do need to be dealt with properly.
